Many agree that it is impossible to pamper children, otherwise they will “sit down” on their necks. Well, there are such concerns.
It is very fashionable now and the opposite opinion, the so-called "Japanese education". About him is well written in Vsevolod Ovchinnikov's book “Sakura and Oak”. The fact that children need to indulge.
Where is the truth? Is there a golden ratio? Maybe it is better to follow the call of the heart and act at the behest of the mind? Russians have their own mentality. What is great for a Japanese is not always great for a Russian. With your permission, I rephrase the famous saying. In Japan, family and respect for elders have age-old traditions, children perceive it with mother's milk. Probably, it will take a long time for the Russians to embrace such a mentality.
So who is right? And what to do with this flower, which grows incomprehensibly, is whether it is a thorn from a cactus, or a delicate orchid in an expensive greenhouse. What care do our precious flowers need? And it is not for the red word - there is nothing more valuable on earth than our children.
There is a saying: "Nothing makes us happier than children, and nothing makes us more unhappy than children.". These words sunk into the soul. How true they are! Children are happy - it means that we are fine.
We look at this living little lump that has just made a step into this world. We read a lot of books about how to breathe during childbirth, how to bathe a baby, what to wear and what to feed him. These are necessary articles, it is useful to know
But why not read books about love? The fact that the child needs to wait with love, what would his soul know - they are waiting and loving him. All our complexes are from childhood, all the bad and good things in us also from childhood. No, do not rush to blame the parents that you had to endure. They might not know much. Who taught us to be a parent? All comes with experience.
But you are given a chance not to make mistakes in your life, growing your flowers. What will you water this sprout? How moderate will watering be? What care will be, here after all the main thing - a measure. If every day a child hears your cries, pulling down, feels the cold coming from you, then do not ask yourself: “Why does my dear rosette wither, why do her petals fall, somewhere the sun will warm her?”
The sun is your love and caress. Only they will help grow a beautiful rose, not a thistle in an abandoned garden.
If your watering is excessive, too, do not rush to rejoice. Love must be necessary and indulge. The main thing - to prevent permissiveness. Believe me, even a very small child knows the word “no”, he knows for sure, and this is from our past life. The child knows, but he wants to learn your principles - what are you ready for. This is a test of your consistency.
Replacing “no” by “can” without a reason is a fiasco. The child will not forgive this weakness. If it is impossible, then it is impossible. And do not be afraid to say it. Just explain it correctly. Please note, because not all children are hysterical in the store. Indulging the whims of a child is a scourge for modern parents. Too many temptations for children, too much money from parents for these temptations. I do not defend my generation or the generation of our parents. There were also mistakes in the sea, but there were few temptations - it saved.
... "And do not lead us into temptation," said the prayer.
I think you will agree with the conclusion: today's children are indifferent to toys. Of course, they ask to buy, and even demand, but upon receipt, they immediately lose interest - and the poor toy flies into the basket, and it is good if it is whole. All goodbye toy! Tomorrow will buy another. We forget that toys are a world of knowledge and communication. Through them and through role-playing games the child learns the world. A toy for a child is the same as your child for you. Can you throw the baby away? So why do you allow your child to do this?
I understand, so I want to give something to the baby. I myself am the same grandmother, although my grandson is far away. But with thoughtless indulgence, we inflict irreparable damage to children, we ourselves destroy this purest diamond. After all, so we buy off children. He does not need a toy, but your attention, playing with him.
Even from the window I sometimes come to, I see how young moms, busy talking with friends or with the favorite toy of the entire population - a mobile phone, forget about the baby, remembering only at the moment when you need to slap, pull, shout. And he just something, you need at least five minutes attention, a piece of your love and your soul. Five minutes of attention and love for life.