In fact, they are completely alien people, but you love their son, which means that it should be important for you to get a good impression from the first minutes of your acquaintance.
It is necessary to warn parents about acquaintance in advance, preferably not in a day or two, but better - at least in a week or even in a month. Your future husband's parents, especially mom, should realize that their son has grown up, that he takes into account their time and composure, otherwise, at best, you will come across unkind eyes, at worst - they will close the door before your nose and ignore your presence all the time. .
When my husband and I decided to get married, he announced to his parents in two months that he intended to come home with his bride. We were waiting. They laid the table in the hall, the brother and sister of the future husband arrived, everything was grand and noble. However, the critical views of the mother-in-law, I noticed immediately.
I didn’t get a piece in my throat, I felt uncomfortable, my attempt to enter into conversation was stopped as soon as I decided to notice that my Kohl did not drink. “I'm not asking you, but my son,” said the father-in-law, pouring the wine into glasses and did not even look at me. I stopped talking and opened my mouth when they asked me questions. Naturally, I was very offended, even offended, but I soon realized that the father-in-law was absolutely right, and it was better for the future daughter-in-law to keep silent for her own good.
When getting married, never count on a secure life at the expense of parents. Do not be offended and do not make demonstrative scenes, if you wanted a dress for 50,000 rubles, and the groom's parents (zhmoty!) Allocated five times less. This is their money, and this is their right. I know a case when the wedding was upset because the bride wanted a wedding in a prestigious restaurant, and her parents chose a good, but not quite famous. This girl is unlikely to ever understand that family happiness does not depend at all on which restaurant or cafe the wedding was in, what kind of photographer was invited and how many guests were at the celebration.
After the wedding, a lot of curious people are interested in the details of the wedding ceremony. Respond evasively, do not focus on how many gifts and from whom you received, do not tell all your friends what family you are in: it is too early for you to judge. Any rash bad word will come back to you necessarily. You should not particularly boast either - firstly, it is indecent, and secondly, they can be envied, and this, too, will not lead to good things.
Never judge a mother-in-law categorically, even if you don’t like her at all. “Your mother doesn’t know how to iron the shirts at all,” one of my acquaintances told her husband, and disarmed the arrows. “None of your business, I like it better,” replied the young husband, tore the shirt out of his hand and returned everything to his place. The young people did not talk all day, made up only after the wife asked for forgiveness. Thank God, she had enough intelligence. But if the wife stroked his shirt without comment, I am sure that the husband would simply not notice it, as he did not notice before his mother stroked his shirt.
If you want your husband to be happy with the food you have prepared, do not neglect the advice of the mother-in-law. Cook as your mother-in-law cooked, while gradually and unobtrusively introducing your tastes. When I first put the dumplings on the table, my husband was very surprised that they sometimes eat dumplings without broth. “Mom, before sculpting dumplings, put a bone to boil, then we ate dumplings with this broth. I'm so used to it, ”he explained. “There is nothing complicated here,” I replied, and set the pan with the stone on fire. An hour later, the clear, fragrant broth was ready, and my husband was pleased with dinner, washed all the dishes and even the kitchen floor. That is the strength of the maternal food.
When you go to visit your husband's parents, be very attentive to the appearance of your betrothed. There are mothers-in-law who will say directly: "Why does my son have a wrinkled shirt or a sock with a hole?" Others will turn to his son: "Come on, son, I'll sew a button on you or wash a jacket." Others will notice, as it were, by chance: “This sweater doesn’t suit you, yesterday I saw in the market exactly the one that will suit you, son.”
In any case, the mother-in-law does not refer to her son, but to her daughter-in-law, and — where she’s directly, and where she’s indirectly — reminds her of her duties. You do not need to indulge in debates, proving that the shirt is wrinkled under the jacket, and the sock is torn in front of your doorstep, you do not need to make a tantrum and slam the door, do not tell your husband what his mother is. It is better to keep silent or turn the tension into a joke, but for yourself, make the right conclusion.
Of course, there are such sinister that they get both day and night, then just keep at a distance with such newly minted relatives. Time will pass, and any mother, seeing that her son is pleased and happy, will love the daughter-in-law and the devil himself.
In no case do not complain to the husband of the mother-in-law. Maternal love is stronger than anything else, and a rare mother is able to objectively evaluate her child according to his merits. Therefore, when you complain about your husband, his mother usually thinks: “You’re not a lady, you talk on the phone all day long with your friends.” When my mother-in-law saw that I was upset about something, she was carefully interested in my reason. I usually answered that I had a headache or that I felt bad, took myself in hand and talked to the mother-in-law affably, treated her, drank tea with her, chatted with her about everything except family relations. The mother-in-law left satisfied, I calmed down a little, and in the evening my husband and I were reconciled, and everything fell into place.
And the last. Should I call my husband's parents mom and dad? I believe that this question should be addressed by your future relatives. If parents want to be your mom and dad, then try to overpower yourself. Believe me, mothers-in-law to hear from a stranger the “mother” is also unusual, but you see yourself wanting happiness, and this is one of the components of this ghostly noun.